The
beginning of the new year, the first week of January, is a time of joy for
everyone. A time of new beginnings, new hopes, resolutions, plans…
For the past
few years, this time of the year is the dreariest for me. Of course, I do feel
good about all the new beginnings, hopes and stuff and even the new semester
which starts in January. At the same time, there is something lurking behind
all this- that sinister feeling that something is terribly wrong or something
horrible is imminent. This happens every year that I seldom get to revel in the
splendour of New Year Celebrations, because I know- If New Year has come, can “that
day” be far behind?‼
Yes, it is
in the first week of January that my annual, mandatory visit to the bank is due
and nothing can make me more uncomfortable than that. In banker’s lingua, it is
just child’s play- closing an FD and starting a new one along with an RD with
some SI issued to SB. And for me, taking a round trip to Mars would be much
simpler. Oh, by the way, I hope you know what FD, RD, SI and SB are. If not,
please don’t ask me.
Even the
Christmas festivities are marred by the flashing thoughts of the impending encounters
with the counters. While people dream about Santa Claus coming down their
chimneys and dropping gifts in stockings, I have dreams of sweating and reeling
inside a bank.
And that day
was today. I get geared up for the day with an extra cup of coffee (need that to
keep my head strong) and 5 almonds (helps sanity, I heard). I go to the bank
chanting the manthra “I can do it, I can do it”. As I step in, I see about 75
people in different sizes, shapes and attire at different counters. “Why are
there so many of them here! Why can’t they all just stay at home?!” They make
me nervous. Oh! Cashless economy, I remind myself.
To the first
person I see, I give my SOP-Statement of Purpose. “I need to close an FD and
start a new one”. I have been practicing this line for the last one week, and
wow, I said it in one go! She gives me a token and asks me to wait for my turn.
“Oh! What sophistication‼” I mutter. I sit down on the couch which is exactly
as comfortable as a dentist’s chair making me want to just get up and run. I
peer intently at the display of token numbers. After a mere 25 minutes when my
number is displayed I proceed to the assigned counter and recite the now
well-memorised SOP again. The lady at the counter gestured me to sit down and
hands over to me 4 forms (!!!) to be filled. That’s too much torture for me to
take. But, at least, I have not fainted yet. The coffee is helping.
I fill the
form or at least think I have and give it to her which she returns promptly
saying I haven’t filled my account number and that I haven’t signed on the forms.
Really, what fuss these people make over such trivial details!
Umm…Account
number? Yes, I know where to find that. It’s on my passbook. I remember.
Well, the almonds are helping too.
And
signature is easy. I scribble something under the form- a miserable excuse for
a signature. I resubmit the edited form. She gives a nod of approval.
Yayy!
Success! I get up to leave.
“Wait, Madam!”,
she says. “Don’t you want your FD
receipts?”
“Sure, I can
take them.” I say, with an air of doing her a favour. She tells me it might
take a few minutes and I continue fidgeting.
Now this
lady is no ordinary being. Physically, she seems to have two hands, but virtually
she has at least four more. She does twenty things at a time. While she was dealing
with me she was handling 6 other customers. Her multitasking reminded me of a
juggler at the fair tossing and catching 7 balls at a time, and I was one of
those…Hope she doesn’t drop me!
There are
two others who have come to close their FDs and one of them is sent back
twice because the signature on the form doesn’t match with signature given at
the time of starting the FD. That puts me on alert. So I have to sign the same
way to close this FD as I have done a few minutes back while opening it, and I
have already forgotten what I scribbled at the bottom of that form. That’s a
nice recipe for disaster.
Two others
have come to open new FDs. There is a senior citizen whose fingerprint the
machine refused to accept to process his pension accounts. A student has come
to report to a change of address. While the super woman was taking care of the
address change, the signature change of customer 2 and lack of signature of
mine, she entrusts this student to keep pressing the elderly uncle’s thumb on
the machine until the machine accepts it.
Seeing so
many things happen together, I am searching for a wormhole to escape to another
galaxy when a girl enters the scene and her grievance is grave. The bank is
transferring double the amount she has instructed from her SB to RD each month
and now she is deprived of any money in her SB account.
“Aha, so you
have come here to apply for a loan to buy bread?” I ask.
“Oh, that
can be done?” she asks much to my happiness at finding another bank-o-ignoramus
creature.
The superwoman
at the counter was still supercool.
“It’s a
system error which will be rectified soon”, she says and adds, “such things
happen”
“Bade bade
deshon mein aise chote chote batein hothe hee rehte hain”, commented the guy
who was still pressing the uncle’s thumb on the machine.
So, is the
same going to happen to my RD? I want to ask, but I don’t because at that
moment she hands me the receipts and I just want to get away at the
earliest. It is then that I realize that I hve been sitting at that counter
for more than 90 minutes just for this FD business and 6 others have come and
gone on the adjacent seat. She’s so smart handling so many at a time, I had
thought. Or maybe I am so dumb, that by the time I achieved the Himalayan task
of filling the forms for an FD she could take care of 6 other customers.
Whatever be the case, she deserves a salute. I thank her and leave the
building.
So the worst
is over. The rest of the year can only be better. Cheers!
Image Courtesy
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f6/3a/44/f63a449ed812d05e1fb58c098ab184ce.jpg
http://dbclipart.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Bank-clipart-3.jpg
Image Courtesy
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f6/3a/44/f63a449ed812d05e1fb58c098ab184ce.jpg
http://dbclipart.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Bank-clipart-3.jpg