Reminiscing some BIG FUN time....

 BIG FUN wasn’t much fun… Or was it??

I don’t know how many of you know/heard of BIG FUN. People of my age or slightly older ones might know. It is a brand of chewing gum that I am talking about. This is the first chewing gum that I knew of, years before other brands like Boomer, Big Babool or Orbit occupied the glass jars in the bakery or stationery stores. I might have been 3 or 4 years old at that time. 

There is a bitter-sweet story associated to my memories of BIG FUN. The sweetness, of course, is associated to the sweet taste of it, the very fact that you get to chew on a chewing gum and occasionally with a lot of effort succeed in blowing up a tiny bubble out of it. The bitterness came from the occasion on which the Big Fun days came. These were monthly treats approved by my mother. Well, the treat was for my elder sister and I too got to have one each time for the mere fact that I happened “to exist” as the younger one. 

I still have not told you what the treat was for. This was my mother’s incentive for my sister as part of the negotiation to take her to the hospital for her monthly injection for her tonsillitis problem. This sounds so normal. However, it was a far cry from normal; because her cry could be heard really far away and that was hardly normal. 

As a child, my sister dreaded medicines and injection. According to a joke that runs in the family, she needed a bucket of water to swallow a tiny tablet. My observation, although, is that many buckets of water and many bouts of puking later the tablet would be still there in her mouth having not yet achieved salvation of going down the "moksha-path" of her digestive tract. 

If this was the case with tablets, you can imagine her reaction to injections. No, you cannot! It is beyond imagination‼ I have never seen such hysteric cries ever before or after that in my life. Her monthly injection day was a day of ordeal for the doctors and nurses in that hospital. Even before she set out from home she would be wailing. Although our mother would be trying her might to calm the crying child, she would be entering the hospital every time with silent sobs that would melt even my heart. The moment the nurse takes the syringe she would start screaming at the top of her voice and at the moment the shot was administered there would be 3 or 4 people around her to hold her on to the bed, for she would be violently shaking and waggling all her limbs and appendages, tears rolling down her cheeks in throes of terror. 

And I, as a 3-year old would be seeing all this. I now wonder why my mother took me along to witness this horrifying scene. But yes, I know why. I was such a mumma’s girl that I wouldn’t stay home with my grandma when my mom took my sister out. I would be yelling at the top of my voice and then she would have to handle two screaming off springs of hers. “Let me carry my luggage along” was always her policy. 

After the injection, the walk back home was peaceful. The quiet after the storm; with the brief pause at the kiosk to buy the chewing gums- BIG FUN. What an irony! By the time we are back home all is well and normal and my sister would be calmly chewing on the gum or chatting with our grandma and I would be making the 127th attempt to make a tiny gum bubble in my mouth.

At the end of all this, I used to sympathise with my sister. I used to feel bad for her thinking that she got the shorter end of the stick in this deal. Just for a chewing gum she has to go through all this when I get an unfair advantage of getting the gum without enduring any of that, which was again a reason for a tiny prick on my conscience. I always wondered why she had to agree to this torture for a BIG FUN when there are many other ways for that. 

Now you see that the 3-year old kept thinking that the 6-year old was going through all that just for a BIG FUN. That it was a medicine for her affliction was not something I knew about. The karma and phal in my eyes was the pain of the injection and the BIG FUN respectively. The cure for tonsillitis was not even a spin-off in the deal according to me. This grave injustice towards my sister kept bugging me for a large part of my childhood(at least when I saw chewing gums) so much that I even thought how could this chewing gum be called BIG FUN when things were farthest from fun. 

It was years later when I was 10 or so, when this whole thing came up conversationally and I told my mom that chechi was so stupid to agree to her deal of BIG FUN for that injection when she could just ask any of our aunts or uncles for that chewing gum. It was then that my mother laughed and explained to me that it was I who was stupid in making that idiotic assumption all the while and told me about the tonsillitis treatment. Although she had called me stupid, at that moment, I felt relieved. For me, it was a “justice served, finally”-moment. Things seemed fair enough now, although the magnitude of her screams seemed still too much even in retrospect. 

All these memories came up when a cousin recently posted a nostalgic pic of the soft drink “Gold Spot” on the family group. That brought in the memories of another familiar brand name of old times-BIG FUN and these not-all- so –funny moments. Last week, when I spoke to my sister, we reminisced over all this and she said “ I wonder now, why I cried so much then….Really it was too much na..”

“So you agree now‼” I said….My heart is much lighter now, I realized. That she agrees that she was being over-hysteric puts my mind to ease. She just was terrified without reason and she knows it now. It wasn’t all that bad, after all. Now I can accept the name BIG FUN without a prick in my heart and think of all those times as some big fun time.

Image Courtesy: https://theprint.in/features/brandma/big-fun-the-bubble-gum-whose-claim-to-fame-was-its-freebie-cricket-cards/206831/

The Solitary Teacher

 This is the time of online classes. As I wrapped up my class today and sat alone in the classroom, I was struck by melancholy.

"The Solitary Teacher"-I thought; and that brought into my mind, the famous poem-"The Solitary Reaper" by William Wordsworth.
Paying obeisance to him, I penned down my thoughts along the lines of my favourite poem by the nature poet.

The Solitary Teacher

Behold her, single in the class,
Yon solitary Manipal lass!
Speaking and explaining by herself;
On pressure, volume, energy and mass.
Alone she lectures and asks a question,
And derives a lengthy equation;
O listen! for the room around
Is overflowing with her sound.

Does anyone know what she says? -
Perhaps theorems of some scientist bygone;
Boltzmann, Einstein or Planck's essays
All masters from an era long gone.
Or is it some more wonted topic,
Pressing matters of the day?
Sharing concerns of this pandemic;
That has taken many a prey.

Whatever the topic, the teacher spoke
As if her discourse would have no ending;
You see her "online" at work,
And o'er the laptop, bending.
They listened faceless, far away;
As they logged off, she calls it a day.
Their faces in her heart she bore,
Long after their voices were heard no more. 

*ഇന്നും ഇപ്പോഴും : ചില ലോക്ക് ഡൗൺ വിശേഷങ്ങൾ*

ലോക്ക്ഡൗൺ തുടങ്ങിയ ശേഷം ജീവിതം ആകെ മാറി.  I mean, ദിനചര്യകൾ.... ഉറക്കം, ഉണരൽ etc.
എന്നും കരുതും അതികാലത്ത് എഴുന്നേറ്റ് മുന്തിരി വള്ളികൾ തളിർത്ത് പൂവിടരുകയും മാതളനാരകം പൂക്കുകയും ചെയ്തുവോ എന്നു നോക്കാം എന്ന്. പിന്നെ ഇവ രണ്ടും ഇല്ലാത്തതു കൊണ്ട് കിടന്നുറങ്ങും. എന്താടോ വാര്യരേ ഞാനിങ്ങനെ ആയി പോയത്!

ഇടയ്ക്ക് വിചാരിക്കും department ഒന്നു functional ആയി ഒരു ജോലി ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ 2 ദിവസം ലീവെടുത്ത് വീട്ടിൽ ഇരിക്കാമായിരുന്നു എന്ന്. വിശ്രമ വേളകളെ ആനന്ദപ്രദമാക്കാൻ.

അങ്ങനെ പണി ഒന്നും ഇല്ലാതിരിക്കെ കുറച്ച് ദിവസങ്ങൾക്ക് മുമ്പ് എനിക്കൊരു പണി കിട്ടി. പണി തന്നതോ...quarters ന്റെ തട്ടിൻപുറത്തെ എലി. നമുക്കവനെ അപ്പുക്കുട്ടൻ എന്ന് വിളിക്കാം. Yes, അപ്പുക്കുട്ടൻ= പാര! കക്ഷി രാത്രിയിൽ അടുക്കളയിൽ വിഹരിക്കാൻ തുടങ്ങി. അവന്റെ തന്തടെ വകയാണെന്നാ വിചാരം.
യ്യോ... ഒരാളുടെ തന്തക്ക് പറഞ്ഞപ്പോ എന്തൊരാശ്വാസം!

Campus ലെ security യോട് പറഞ്ഞാലോ.. അല്ലെങ്കിൽ വേണ്ട. അയാൾ എന്താ പറയാൻ പോകന്നേന്ന് നമുക്ക് അറിയാലോ. "മേം സാബ് ചോർ കൊ പകട്നാ ഹമാരാ കാം ഹേ.." മനസ്സിലായി... എലി കൊ പകട്നാ മേരാ കാം ഹേ .. ഹോ .. ഹും

ഒരു ദിവസം നോക്കിയപ്പോൾ ഒരു plastic cover മൊത്തം കീറിപ്പറിച്ചിട്ടിരിക്കുന്നു. ഞാൻ ആ നിമിഷം തീരുമാനിച്ചു: "ഇതു ചെയ്തത് ആരായാലും ഞാൻ പൂട്ടും. മണിച്ചിത്രത്താഴിട്ട് പൂട്ടും".
ഹെ ഹെ... ചുമ്മാ...
എലിക്കെണി വെക്കുമെന്ന്.

But കെണിയിൽ പെട്ട എലിയെ പിന്നെന്തു ചെയ്യും ഞാൻ? വലിയ വശമില്ലാത്ത പണിയാ. ആകെ നൈപുണ്യം കൊതുകിനെ വകവരുത്താനാ. അതു പക്ഷെ ഗോമ്പറ്റീഷൻ item അല്ലാത്തോണ്ട് ഗപ്പൊന്നും കിട്ടിയിട്ടില്ല.

പിന്നെന്തു ചെയ്യും? ഞാൻ കൂലങ്കഷമായി ചിന്തിച്ചു.കണക്ക് കൂട്ടി...വീണ്ടും വീണ്ടും കൂട്ടി..ഗുണിച്ചു.ഹരിച്ചു.
ഹരിക്കമ്പോഴും ഗുണിക്കുമ്പോഴും ഉത്തരം ശരിയാണെങ്കിലും ഒന്നും കൂടെ ഹരിച്ചും ഗുണിച്ചും നോക്കുന്നത് നല്ലതല്ലേ...

ഒടുവിൽ ഞാൻ തീരുമാനിച്ചു "കൊല്ലണം, പുലിയെ ..ഛെ, എലിയെ കൊല്ലണം"
ഒരു സുഹൃത്തിനോട് പറഞ്ഞപ്പോൾ അവൾ പറഞ്ഞു: ''വല്ല മയക്കുമരുന്നും വെച്ചാൽ പോരെ?"
ജനലഴിയിൽ പിടിച്ച് അനന്തതയിലേക്ക് കണ്ണും നട്ട് ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു" No. എന്നെ അറിയാവുന്നവരോട് ഞാൻ മുമ്പ് പറഞ്ഞിട്ടുണ്ട്: Narcotics is a dirty business"
മാത്രമല്ല, ഒരു  Killer-ടെ ആത്മസംതൃപ്തി എന്നൊന്നുണ്ടല്ലോ...

എലിവിഷം വാങ്ങാൻ തന്നെ തീരുമാനിച്ചു (ഉണ്ണി മധുരത്തിൽ വെച്ച് കൊടുക്കാം ലോ) But from where? എന്റെ സുഹൃത്ത് Anitha ആണ് പറഞ്ഞത് college main gate - ന് opposite ഉള്ള കടയിൽ കിട്ടുമെന്ന്.
ഹാവൂ സമാധാനമായി. സന്തോഷവും. സന്തോഷത്താൽ ഞാൻ പലയാവർത്തി പറഞ്ഞു "Anitha, I love you.. I love you Anitha."

എന്നാലും എന്താ നമുക്കിത് നേരത്തെ തോന്നാഞ്ഞത്? ആ... എല്ലാറ്റിനും അതിന്റേതായ സമയമുണ്ടല്ലോ.
അവൾ തുടർന്നു, "Anyway, എന്തെങ്കിലും ആവശ്യമുണ്ടെങ്കിൽ വിളിക്ക്. My number is 2255 (ഇതിന്റെ ഇരുവശത്തും വേറെ കുറച്ച് അക്കങ്ങൾ കൂടി ഉണ്ട്. അതൊക്കെ ആരോർക്കാൻ!).

അങ്ങനെ ഞാനതു വാങ്ങാൻ തിരിച്ചു. ആൽഫിയേ കൊല്ലാൻ. അയ്യോ, ആൽഫിയല്ല, അപ്പുക്കുട്ടൻ.
പക്ഷെ, വീണ്ടുമൊരു പ്രശ്നം. കട main gate - ന് opposite ആണ്. പക്ഷെ main gate എവിടെ ആയിരുന്നു? ലോക്ക് ഡൗൺ കാരണം College - ലേക്കുള്ള വഴി മറന്നല്ലോ..
ആഹ്,.. ചോയ്ച് ചോയ്ച്  പോകാം

അവസാനം kilometers and kilometers ഒന്നും നടക്കാതെ കടയിൽ എത്തി. ഒരു സുന്ദരി ഓട്ടോയിൽ. അവിടെ എല്ലാരും mask ഒക്കെ ധരിച്ച് 2m അകലത്തിൽ ഇട്ട കളങ്ങളിൽ നിൽക്കുന്നു. ഇപ്പോ അങ്ങനെയൊക്കെ ആണല്ലോ. ഭാവിയിൽ ഇതൊക്കെ തന്നെയാകും രീതി. അന്ന് നമ്മുടെ പിൻമുറക്കാർ അതിനെ ആചാരം എന്ന് പറയും. "എത്ര മനോഹരമായ ആചാരങ്ങൾ"!

Purchase കഴിഞ്ഞ് തിരിച്ചിറങ്ങിയപ്പോൾ റോഡിൽ അനിത. അവൾക്ക് കാര്യം മനസ്സിലായി. എന്നോട് ചോദിച്ചു :"സാധനം കൈയ്യിലുണ്ടോ?" ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു "സാധനം കൈയ്യിലുണ്ട്".

തിരിച്ച് quarters -ലേക്ക് പോകും മുമ്പ് ഞാൻ ചോദിച്ചു "എന്തൊരു ചൂട്. നമുക്കോരോ നാരങ്ങാവെള്ളം കുടിച്ചാലോ?''
"ഈ ലോക്ക് ഡൗൺ സമയത്തോ?" അവൾ കണ്ണുരുട്ടി ചോദിച്ചു.
"ഓ ശരി ശരി ശരി.." ,മുനിസിപ്പൽ കമ്മീഷ്ണറെ കണ്ട കോൺട്രാക്ടറെപ്പോലെ വിനയകുനിയ ആയി ഞാൻ പറഞ്ഞു.
വീട്ടിലേക്ക് തിരിച്ചു.

By the way എലിവിഷം വാങ്ങിയുള്ള എന്റെ പോക്കിൽ ക്ഷുഭിതരായി മൃഗസ്നേഹികൾ മുദ്രാവാക്യം വിളിച്ചോണ്ട് വരണ്ട. കഥയിലെ twist വരുന്നേ ഉള്ളൂ. അല്ലെങ്കിലും നെട്ടൂരാൻ വിളിച്ചത്ര മുദ്രാവാക്യങ്ങളൊന്നും നിങ്ങളാരും വിളിച്ചിട്ടില്ല.

എലിവിഷം വാങ്ങിയ സന്തോഷത്തിൽ ഒരു മൂളിപ്പാട്ടും പാടി വീട്ടിൽ കയറുമ്പോൾ അയൽവാസി കുശലം ചോദിച്ചു. എലിക്കഥ പറഞ്ഞപ്പോ എന്നോട് പറയാ..'' അതിനെന്തിനാ വിഷം? ഇപ്പോ പാടിയ പോലെ ഒന്ന് പാടിയാൽ പോരെ...''
''ശരിയാ", ഞാനോർത്തു. "ദർബാർ രാഗത്തിൽ  ഒരു സാധനം അങ്ങട് അലക്കാം.. എലി flat"

ഒരിക്കലേ പാടേണ്ടി വന്നുള്ളൂ. ഇപ്പോ രണ്ടാഴ്ചയായി എലിയുടെ ഒരു വിവരവുമില്ല. എനിക്ക് തോന്നുന്നത് പേടിച്ചോടുന്നതിനിടയിൽ എലി കാൽ തെറ്റി ബധിരരുടെ ഒരു ലോകത്ത് എത്തി ഇലാമപ്പഴത്തെക്കാൾ കൂടിയ എന്തോ കഴിച്ച് ബധിരനായി സുഖിച്ച് കഴിയുന്നുണ്ടാകും.

പാട്ടും പാടി എലിയെ തുരത്തിയ എന്റെ കഥ കേട്ട് ദാമോദർജി (അതെ , ബോംബെ പട്ടണത്തെ കിടുകിടാ വിറപ്പിച്ച ദാമോദർജി) എന്നെ ബോംബെ അധോലോകത്തേക്ക് ക്ഷണിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്. ഇത്രയും ധൈര്യം അദ്ദേഹം തന്റെ Charles Shobharaj - ൽ മാത്രേ കണ്ടിട്ടുള്ളൂന്ന്.

...................
ഇത്രയും വായിച്ച നിങ്ങൾ ഇപ്പോ മനസ്സിൽ പറയുന്നത് എനിക്കറിയാം.
"വട്ടാണല്ലേ?" എന്നല്ലേ?

എന്നോട് ദേഷ്യം തോന്നുന്നെങ്കിൽ, ലേലു അല്ലു... ലേലു അല്ലു ...ലേലു അല്ലു.🙏

ങ്ങേ? ദേഷ്യം ഇല്ലേ?
എങ്കിലേ എന്നോട് പറ 'I love you'ന്ന് ...

അപ്പോ എല്ലാരും ഇവിടെയൊക്കെ ഉണ്ടാകുമല്ലോ...

ശംഭോ മഹാദേവാ!

- സൂര്യ ഹരികൃഷ്ണൻ
മണിപ്പാൽ

Virus- How it affected me

Watched the malayalam movie - Virus.
Writing about a movie for the first time.
No spoilers. Not many suspense elements anyway, since the movie is based on true events. This is not even a review. It's just a note of appreciation and respect to the cast and crew of the movie.

I felt I should be vocal about it this time because...

Because I am a Keralite who is proud of my people and government machinery whose wisdom, determination and efficiency could contain and control efficiently what could have lead to an unimaginable death toll.

Because I am a native of Kozhikode where the Nipah incidents happened and have several friends and former students in the Perambra and Medical College area with a few of my doctor friends practising in Kozhikode Medical College. After hearing the related incidents first hand from them and now seeing it on screen, the respect for the ones who combated the dreadful circumstances multiply manifold.

Because I am also a proud Manipal-ite. The role played by the researchers at Manipal Centre for Virus Research(MCVR) in testing the sample and confirming of 'the virus' was a breakthrough in dealing with the epidemic. Though not from that department, from a few student friends of mine from that centre Swathi Gururaj, Oliver D Sa, I had heard about how it was a real "testing time" for them - the security measures taken, the quarantine they were put into. I had witnessed, both online and offline, the awareness activities they undertook. And today it was a proud moment to see the Manipal Centre appear on screen in a malayalam movie, especially while watching it with a group of non-malayalis from MCVR. Cheers, usually reserved for the entry of macho heroes, was this time louder for a research centre and that's a good sign - of giving due credits to science and rationale and not just for superheroic stunts.

Because I saw on screen, the craft of a talented lot. Everything from the script to casting to BGM is to be applauded. One can easily see the enormous amount of research and homework that has gone into the making of it. Hats off to the impeccable casting; even the tiniest role was in the safest hands. Delved in some personal pleasure seeing the branded ones - the feminichis - and new gen actors (not stars) proving it out there that nothing can stop good cinema from happening if backed by grit and gift.

Of course, nothing is flawless. Nothing is perfect. Not science or medicine. Not any movie either. Life and nature keep throwing at us, perils and predicaments. But, nature has also equipped us with the tenacity to fight, the resilience to start afresh. Doing it jointly-hand in hand - assures success - be it life or a movie.

Picture Courtesy: Onlookers Media

My musings on this musical night...

Today I attended the School Annual Day function at my friend's 6-year old daughter's school where she was performing. It was a lovely experience attending a school function after so many years and it triggered a host of memories from my school days.

Since my friend was busy - related to the event- they had gone earlier and I was planning to join later. As the entry to the venue was restricted, my friend had made all arrangements for my unhindered entry to the school premises and had instructed me to call her in the event of any problem.

I was suddenly thinking of a School Annual Day many years back... Around 27 years back. I had told an aunt of mine(then around 50 years old) about our annual day and, amidst the conversation, invited her for the event. I was performing that day and my elder sister was receiving too many prizes (all for topping in different exams .. How boring!). Even I was the recipient of a couple of prizes - one for studies and one for histrionics, but nobody in the family considers that important for the simple arithmetic reason that 2 is less than 7.

The programme was in the evening and I was busy since morning that day, practising for the play until afternoon(it was a drama that I was in), and later with dressing up, makeup etc. Some time in the evening my mother had come too and was seated among the audience. After my event was over when I met my parents in the school ground, I came to know that my aunt had come too and she congratulated me on my performance and my prizes (she was kind enough to notice my prizes). My mother then told me that aunty was stopped at the gates by the volunteers because she didn't have the entry pass. She stood there at the gates for over 15min or so and that's when my dad came and saw his sister at the gate. The people at the gate knew my dad and let him in along with his sister. As a matter of fact, my parents were not aware of my conversation with my aunt and the subsequent invitation I had extended to her, (else my mother would have made arrangements for her to enter the school premises). My dad was not even planning to come, he just happened to reach there that time. And my aunty was unaware of the need of the entry pass because I had left out that tiny detail when I spoke to her (or maybe I was unaware of it myself). Anyway, nothing further was said about that and honestly not much thought given.

Today when my friend asked me to call her if needed, I remembered that day when my aunt must have stood at the school gates waiting for... I don't know what.. Those were the days when mobile phones were unheard of. She didn't even know if my mother was already at the venue or not..if my father would even be coming.. Still she stood waiting there...

This sets me thinking.. What must have prompted her to stand there at the school gates in a rather uncertain situation? It surely must have been the affection she had for her nieces and the desire to see them win prizes and to see them perform on stage. Being a mother of two boys who were much older to us and were already employed by that time, she must have had a wish to see us girls celebrating our happy moment.

There's more to it than this, I feel. If she stood there amidst uncertainty it also has to do with the innate faith and hope that she had. She must have been waiting for someone - either my parents or some other parent whom she might somehow know.

Do we still have this kind of hope and faith in goodwill and humanity? Or are we lacking the patience to place our trust on goodwill and humanity? Our dependence is fully on technology these days. Mobiles phones and Internet are making life so easy and fast paced... So much that we don't have the patience to just stand at a bus stop and wait for a friend who is late by a minute or two. Instead we call /text them:"hey, where are you?"

Yes, phones are definitely getting smarter by day. Are we?

My New Year Nightmare

The beginning of the new year, the first week of January, is a time of joy for everyone. A time of new beginnings, new hopes, resolutions, plans…

For the past few years, this time of the year is the dreariest for me. Of course, I do feel good about all the new beginnings, hopes and stuff and even the new semester which starts in January. At the same time, there is something lurking behind all this- that sinister feeling that something is terribly wrong or something horrible is imminent. This happens every year that I seldom get to revel in the splendour of New Year Celebrations, because I know- If New Year has come, can “that day” be far behind?‼

Yes, it is in the first week of January that my annual, mandatory visit to the bank is due and nothing can make me more uncomfortable than that. In banker’s lingua, it is just child’s play- closing an FD and starting a new one along with an RD with some SI issued to SB. And for me, taking a round trip to Mars would be much simpler. Oh, by the way, I hope you know what FD, RD, SI and SB are. If not, please don’t ask me.

Even the Christmas festivities are marred by the flashing thoughts of the impending encounters with the counters. While people dream about Santa Claus coming down their chimneys and dropping gifts in stockings, I have dreams of sweating and reeling inside a bank.

And that day was today. I get geared up for the day with an extra cup of coffee (need that to keep my head strong) and 5 almonds (helps sanity, I heard). I go to the bank chanting the manthra “I can do it, I can do it”. As I step in, I see about 75 people in different sizes, shapes and attire at different counters. “Why are there so many of them here! Why can’t they all just stay at home?!” They make me nervous. Oh! Cashless economy, I remind myself.

To the first person I see, I give my SOP-Statement of Purpose. “I need to close an FD and start a new one”. I have been practicing this line for the last one week, and wow, I said it in one go! She gives me a token and asks me to wait for my turn. “Oh! What sophistication‼” I mutter. I sit down on the couch which is exactly as comfortable as a dentist’s chair making me want to just get up and run. I peer intently at the display of token numbers. After a mere 25 minutes when my number is displayed I proceed to the assigned counter and recite the now well-memorised SOP again. The lady at the counter gestured me to sit down and hands over to me 4 forms (!!!) to be filled. That’s too much torture for me to take. But, at least, I have not fainted yet. The coffee is helping.

I fill the form or at least think I have and give it to her which she returns promptly saying I haven’t filled my account number and that I haven’t signed on the forms. Really, what fuss these people make over such trivial details!

Umm…Account number? Yes, I know where to find that. It’s on my passbook. I remember. Well, the almonds are helping too.

And signature is easy. I scribble something under the form- a miserable excuse for a signature. I resubmit the edited form. She gives a nod of approval.

Yayy! Success! I get up to leave.

“Wait, Madam!”, she says.  “Don’t you want your FD receipts?”

“Sure, I can take them.” I say, with an air of doing her a favour. She tells me it might take a few minutes and I continue fidgeting.

Now this lady is no ordinary being. Physically, she seems to have two hands, but virtually she has at least four more. She does twenty things at a time. While she was dealing with me she was handling 6 other customers. Her multitasking reminded me of a juggler at the fair tossing and catching 7 balls at a time, and I was one of those…Hope she doesn’t drop me!

There are two others who have come to close their FDs and one of them is  sent back twice because the signature on the form doesn’t match with signature given at the time of starting the FD. That puts me on alert. So I have to sign the same way to close this FD as I have done a few minutes back while opening it, and I have already forgotten what I scribbled at the bottom of that form. That’s a nice recipe for disaster.

Two others have come to open new FDs. There is a senior citizen whose fingerprint the machine refused to accept to process his pension accounts. A student has come to report to a change of address. While the super woman was taking care of the address change, the signature change of customer 2 and lack of signature of mine, she entrusts this student to keep pressing the elderly uncle’s thumb on the machine until the machine accepts it.

Seeing so many things happen together, I am searching for a wormhole to escape to another galaxy when a girl enters the scene and her grievance is grave. The bank is transferring double the amount she has instructed from her SB to RD each month and now she is deprived of any money in her SB account.

“Aha, so you have come here to apply for a loan to buy bread?” I ask.

“Oh, that can be done?” she asks much to my happiness at finding another bank-o-ignoramus creature.

The superwoman at the counter was still supercool.

“It’s a system error which will be rectified soon”, she says and adds, “such things happen”

“Bade bade deshon mein aise chote chote batein hothe hee rehte hain”, commented the guy who was still pressing the uncle’s thumb on the machine.

So, is the same going to happen to my RD? I want to ask, but I don’t because at that moment she hands me the receipts and I just want to get away at the earliest. It is then that I realize that I hve been sitting at that counter for more than 90 minutes just for this FD business and 6 others have come and gone on the adjacent seat. She’s so smart handling so many at a time, I had thought. Or maybe I am so dumb, that by the time I achieved the Himalayan task of filling the forms for an FD she could take care of 6 other customers. Whatever be the case, she deserves a salute. I thank her and leave the building.

So the worst is over. The rest of the year can only be better. Cheers!

Image Courtesy
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f6/3a/44/f63a449ed812d05e1fb58c098ab184ce.jpg
http://dbclipart.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Bank-clipart-3.jpg

Me Maggi and Madhuri

Maggi seems to be the newsmaker of the week and of the last few weeks. This product of Nestle is more than just a brand to many Indians and I am one of them. Maggi is a name that triggers a lot of fond memories of our childhood, hostels, canteens and offices. It’s an icon of nostalgia.

Maggi- Its sight, smell and taste are reminders of happy days bygone. It was the first and only noodles known to us much before all the other brands and dishes of instant and not-so-instant noodles found their place on the racks of supermarkets and the menu cards of restaurants. Maggi is an emotion – a concoction of the feelings of love, laughter, friendship and even rivalry on who gets the greater share. The once-a-month Maggi treat sanctioned by our mom was something that my sister and I used to look forward to during our school days. Maggi is the first (and maybe only) dish that many of us learned to “cook”. There will be quite a number of us who have thanked God for creating this Manna because there have been several occasions when Maggi was the sole savior to combat the midnight hunger pangs, especially when staying in hostels. Maggi is the first thing that gave me the concept of time (albeit wrong) – the two minutes that was way too long. It was much later that I realized that the actual “two minutes” is much shorter.

Now, when Maggi is in trouble, allegedly being unhealthy and dangerous, it is as if a best friend is in trouble, accused of some wrong-doing. It’s a testing time for all Maggi fans. We can always stand by our friend, but can never support the wrong deed.

Along with Maggi, another beloved of mine is in trouble. That is Madhuri Dixit – an artist I admire. An actor par excellence. A wonderful dancer. Her enthralling foot movements and unmatched grace and expressions are a visual feast to devour any day. A complete package of beauty, talent and hard work. Add to that the decorum she observes and the grandeur she exudes and that’s why I respect this lady. To this day, any movie or song of Madhuri Dixit glues me to the television just to see her and her smile. “Her smile should be enough to solve all problems” was what my friend commented when we discussed the problem that has befallen her. 

Maggi and Madhuri are both reminders of my good old school days, although they were not connected at that time. Recently the two got associated with each other and have now landed in trouble. For those who don’t know the story yet, the following details are for you. Madhuri Dixit became the brand ambassador for Maggi noodles and was also the model for the advertisement of the same. A few days back it was found that samples of Maggi collected from some parts if U.P. contained added Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) and lead in excess to permissible levels. As per news reports FSDA (Food Safety and Drug Administration) has initiated inquiry and has asked FSSAI (Food Standards and Safety Authority of India) to cancel the license of Maggi Noodles.

As much as I like Maggi and the memories associated, I do not support or justify the product if it is harmful to the users. However, one needs to know that MSG is not something that one has to panic about. It is the sodium salt of glutamic acid and occurs naturally in tomatoes, mushrooms,  and even potatoes. This is that which lends the distinctive flavor to tomato and soy sauce-the flavor termed as “umami” –the fifth flavor after sweet, salty, bitter and sour. Beyond a level, this MSG can be harmful as can be many other ingredients like salt, sugar and fats. Higher consumption of MSG is believed to cause palpitation, headache, nausea etc termed as the “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome”. Consumption of MSG at high levels may lead to dementia and cancer is what some researchers say. At the same time, there have been also been reports saying that MSG is not as harmful as being made to believe and linking cancer to MSG is based on anecdotal evidences. That MSG tolerance for different individuals is different is also to be noted. Presence of lead in this food item has to be taken seriously if it is beyond certain permissible level and reports obtained so far from different sources vary in the levels of MSG and lead.

After reading varied views on MSG and its health aspects I am now confused. We can leave it for the experts to decide and pass a verdict as to whether Maggi is harmful or not. I do not intend to debate on that here. The rest of what I have to say is based on the worst assumption that Maggi IS indeed harmful. Then the decision of the authorities to cancel the license of Maggi would be a welcome move.

What is incomprehensible, though, is the legal action to be taken against the Bollywood stars Madhuri Dixit, Amitabh Bachan and Preity Zinta for endorsing the product. A lawyer has filed a suite stating that with that advertisement Madhuri Dixit has “misled” the public. In this context, a few doubts arise in my mind which I list below.

How can the model be held “responsible” for the product? If they are talking about cancelling the license of Maggi, that implies that the brand currently HAS a license. Is it wrong on the part of the brand ambassador/model to endorse a product which has a license? Is he /she supposed to make enquiries about the quality of the product when the license granted confirms the quality? Whose job is it to check the quality of these products? The model? The Brand Ambassador? The advertising agency? Or the government agencies? Isn’t there any mechanism for the quality testing of products that reach the market or is that left for model to do? If there is indeed a government mechanism to do the quality check which results in the license, what is the issue in endorsing a product that has successfully “passed the test”? If on a later occasion, the product is found to be harmful whose fault is that? Somehow my logic fails to see that the brand ambassador should be held responsible for the quality of the product. All one can expect him or her to possess is the moral obligation to society regarding the product they endorse, and this, I am afraid, is a subjective matter.

Agreed that Maggi noodles, or any other noodles for that matter, is not a healthy choice of food. Neither are the other fast food items (again containing MSG and God knows what else!) and all the aerated drinks like coca cola and pepsi. Even the street food contain MSG as taste enhancers. Coca cola, apparently is equivalent to toilet cleaning lotion (saw that on some social networking site). So, are all the brand ambassadors/models endorsing these food and drinks going to be sued as well? If YES, then as a better option, why don’t we first ban these products? If NOT, then why only Madhuri  Dixit and Amitabh Bachan? The issue, I think, boils down the question: Is the focus on suing the wrongdoers or on banning the products and thus saving humanity? Who the wrongdoers are is also a relevant question under this context where all these potentially harmful products are in market for public consumption after quality checking by government agencies and come with a stamp of approval on them. Also, I cannot help wondering if the same legal action would be taken if the model was a lesser known person. Is it not the jealousy and sadist mentality of a few human beings that is behind this legal action against celebrities?

Recently, I got a forwarded message on WhatsApp, apparently from the Prime Minister of India. He exhorts the people to shun foreign products like Coca cola and Pepsi and go for options like tender coconut, lemon juice and sugar cane juice. The reason stated is not the health aspect but the economy aspect. If at least 10% of the coke drinkers switch to desi drinks, we will be depriving the Americans of 7000 crores USD each day and helping the farmers of our country to prosper, says the message. I do not know if the statistics are right or if the message itself is from the PM. I am left with a doubt, all the same. Why don’t we just ban those drinks and save the economy of the country and the lives of the people here. Even if we do boycott all these drinks and go for fruit juices, who will ensure that the fruits are free of pesticides and artificial ripening agents? So, where is the safety at the end of all this?

I am no economist, politician or corporate person and hence I do not understand the double standards here.  The authorities do not think twice before banning the supply of eggs to undernourished kids of Madhya Pradesh, solely on religious grounds. Then why not ban these harmful products rather than sue the brand ambassadors?

It may also be noted that it is not just the food products that are harmful. Most of the cosmetics also contain harmful ingredients. Even the electronic gadgets pose long term harm to the human generation. Banning all these products is not practical, I agree. So, do we sue the brand ambassadors of these products? Then half the Bollywood will be behind court cases. 

We cannot stay away from all these products forever. Wise choices and judicious usage is the key to the problem. Regular quality testing at each stage is important and the product, whatever be it, should be banned if the usage leads to lethal conditions. In other cases, the consequences of the usage of the product should be clearly stated on the package. Once license is given to a company for the manufacture of a product, it is the responsibility of the government agencies to ensure that appropriate statutory warnings are issued. Next step is to create awareness of all this among the public. This must be done as part of the school curriculum and through popular media. That is what a responsible government should do.

All this said, I must highlight that the responsibility does not lie with the government alone. The public, which includes you and me, should be responsible for their actions and choices. If, after all these warnings and awareness programme, people still consume these products then the responsibility is theirs too. We cannot even state reasons like illiteracy or ignorance  for this behavior of people as the consumption of fast food, drinks, cosmetics are majorly among the educated and well-informed lot. It is sheer negligence. It is high time we take up responsibility for our choices. If after all this discussion I go and eat Maggi or sip coke (which I might do), then that is solely and purely MY fault and not Madhuri’s. 

Picture Courtesy:

https://www.maggi.in/maggi_goodies.aspx

sharespark.net

indianexpress.com

http://www.indiantelevision.com