New Year is here

 This one is a special New Year Dedication to a Dear Friend.

As for its purpose, you'll get it as you read along....

Best Wishes

                          For

A  Happy 2012

New Year Wishes I am sending you

Are not for you, I am telling you

They are for a guy somewhere

So sorry, I know not where!!!

It’s an Apple that he craves for

Of that I am pretty sure

I wish that he gets the best one      

The one on top, the sweetest one

Ripe and red, round and mellow

And then he’d be the lucky fellow

He ought to tire to get that one

‘Coz the best is not the easy one

I wish him all the best of luck

To get the best apple to pluck

*At this stage if some doubts arise in your mind about my sanity level, please read ahead.

Some wise man once said:

              “Girls are like apples on trees.
                 The best ones are at the top.

The boys don't want to reach them

They fear of falling and getting hurt.

So, they reach from the ground

To get only rotten apples

These are easy, but not so good

So the apples up top think that

something is wrong with them when actually, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to climb all

 

Worry not my dear

This will be the year

When the right one will come along

                       With hands and legs all too long

He will arrive all geared up for action

His will and charm , his main attraction

Would this be the one for you?

He has his eye on you

He isn’t scared of reaching high

Ready to go upto the sky    

                                                                                                         

But alas my dear, he has a basket

Many an apple he’s come to collect

This is not the guy for you

He wants you but many too.

Many such may come your way

With basket, bag or sack or tray

Yours is one that comes to you

Yours will come just for you

Pals may tempt him left and right

He shall know but wrong from right

He shall have options none

The likes of you in lakhs is one

He won’t find you in a store

You are worthy mighty more

All his kin and kith he’ll gear

To bend the tree and reach you dear

 

He shall win you, I do pray

Gale or rain or come what may

Greet the year with this thought

Happy you’ll be all throughout

Have A Great Year Ahead

May All Your Dreams Come True

The story does not end here though

There is a bit to follow

Go ahead and read that part

With a funny bone and a strong heart

      .

      .

      .

      .

If by chance, he is late

Know that it’s a game of fate

As you wait for the lucky man

There’s always a back-up plan

   

Found Guilty..and Sentenced!!

Last Sunday, I woke with a feeling of guilt. This is usually the day, I slumber off to my wish, not having to go to work. So in addition to the usual 8 hours of beauty sleep, an additional 2 hours is due every Sunday to add to my beauty.

But that day, I woke after sleeping only for 7 hours. Oh My God!!! How inefficient and incompetent of me. I tried to assuage my guilt by pulling the blanket over my head to return to slumber land. Just as I was about to land there, came the beep sound of my cell phone alerting me of the arrival of a message.

Normally my hibernation is not affected by anything less than a mini-explosion. I thought: “So, what is happening today?  Is my performance level going low in this one field where I always aced, be it among family or friends?” The guilty feeling gripped me hard. And as long as I am held fast in its claws, I cannot get back to sleep. Ticket to slumber land becomes invalid if you have already embarked on a guilt trip.

The problem was aggravated because I knew that my friend (with whom I share the apartment) was not up yet. Normally she is the boring early bird who wakes me up on Sunday mornings with the clatter of pots and pans when she prepares breakfast (of course, she has to try really hard to accomplish this….but somehow she always manages). Even she was asleep and it was only 8am and I was wide awake with my conscience getting pricked and poked from all sides. Poor me (sigh!!).  

After another 30 minutes’ futile attempts to snooze, I decided to call it a day (pun intended) and got up promising myself that I’d finish some of the morning chores of washing and cleaning and doze off  (with an extension to the usual quota) again after breakfast. I never doubted the practicality of this scheme, relying completely on my experience.

With renewed spirits, I rapidly finished washing the clothes when my friend woke and the first thing she said was “ Hey!! You’re up already!..What are you doing so early in the morning?”

Oh! The pricking was back and I suddenly felt like a deflated balloon. It was as if I had been caught red-handed stealing a sovereign of gold. I got away, mumbling some lousy excuse for my malfunctioning. But the anxiety was getting on.

“What if things don’t go as I planned? What if I am unable to sleep after breakfast?” And if I missed this opportunity, I’d have to wait another 7 days before I could compensate for the lost chances. But, what if the problem persists even then?

“I mustn’t allow that to happen”. I am determined. I finished my breakfast in a hurry, made my routine call to my mom and then cleverly turned off the cell (one learns from one’s mistakes), prayed for unhindered oblivion and closed my eyes. I could hear my heart beating….thump…thump..asking “will I  or will I not?, can I or can I not?”

I could not. This time the reason was…well… no reason at all. I simply could not sleep. I was wide awake which I shouldn’t be at that time on a beautiful Sunday. Sundays are for sleeping.

“What do I do now? Maybe I should finish the rest of the work – cleaning and ironing- have a heavy lunch and try reading a really boring book (one of the text books might help). Yes…That’s what I’ll do and this time I wouldn’t fail”. I got up feeling positive and went about working hard to tire myself out so as to ensure a successful afternoon siesta.

Everything went as planned. The exhaustion after work, the heavy lunch, the boring book-the recipe was perfect for the onset of peaceful slumber. Only… destiny ordained otherwise….

This time it was a nagging thought that kept eating my head. It was keeping me awake as if a little devil pulling my eyes open.

I was trying to recall the name of a former student with whose sister I chatted the previous day. The problem could have been easily solved by calling the sister, but my ego wouldn’t allow it. Having always taken the pride in the fact that I can recall names easily (refer the previous post on this blog), I wanted to figure this one out myself and I did that. But, by then it was tea-time. Suffice to say that sleep was still light years away.

After tea, I had some errands to run and suddenly this was the day my conscience decided to heed my mom’s words to not to sleep during sunset. A couple of phone calls and a neighbour’s visit kept me awake till 10 pm. “Oh ! Now it’s time for tonight’s sleep and no more time to catch up yesterday’s loss. And tomorrow is another Monday when I cannot afford to make up for the lost 40 winks (read that as 4000000)”

My conscience kept glaring at me. Finally the verdict was passed. Found guilty. Sentenced to 10 hours of mandatory sleep every night hereafter. How much I wish I could do that.

So friends, next time you call me, please check the time. I might be serving the sentence of my horrendous crime…poor me!!

The Name Game

I know a new word today---‘anomia’. For some, the word may be unfamiliar like it was for me until yesterday. But it refers to a condition which may be a very familiar one for all.  The word means ‘an inability to recall the names of people (or objects, but that is not important here). If 10 people are reading this (wishful thinking, I know) 8 of them would be thinking….”Oh!! ….I know this one”.

Many interesting episodes on anomia may come to your minds ; the protagonist may be you or someone else. Many may have fallen prey to this not so rare phenomenon.  Even I can tell you a tale or two.

My dad often behaves anomiac; like when he referred to a distant relative named Babu Rajendra Prasad as Subhash Chandra Bose (he at least remembered that the name was shared by a prominent national leader of yester years). But I am not sure if his condition can be called ‘anomia’, because he seems to have no trouble recalling names. On the contrary, he is positive that he knows the names- only they are wrong ones. I wonder if there is another term to describe this condition…’misnomia’ perhaps?

Anyway, it is safer and easier to have a conversation with my dad ignoring all the proper nouns. Of course it is an exciting and challenging intellectual exercise trying to guess the person he is talking about, for there will be some common factor linking the actual name and his-given-name, semantically, phonetically or contextually.

I, luckily, belong to the non-anomiac category, having an exceptional gift for remembering names much to the envy of many of my friends with an inferior RAM. All of us being teachers, dealing with a number of students, it is hardly surprising that may colleagues turn green when I call each student by his/her name.  Often seeing their confused looks, I have conversationally ‘called’ the students they are talking to , reminding my friends of the name of the person they are talking to; inviting a happy sigh from them and putting their nomo-ignoramus brains to rest.

On one occasion, when I was out street shopping with a friend, she suddenly startled me when she gripped my wrist hard. A terrified look on her face made me look in the direction of her gaze and I saw a student of ours approaching us with a big smile. I could guess the reason for her firm grasp, and soon gave her the information she sought from my hard disc. And when the girl reached us, my friend very brightly exclaimed: “Oh!! Hi XYZ….. so good to see you here”(intentionally naming her XYZ, lest she gets hurt that her teacher had forgotten her name)

Another friend has come to terms with her anomia so well and is an expert at handling the identity crisis, to the extent that she can have an hour-long conversation with a person without a clue as to what his or her name is where she has met that person before. This exceptional ability of hers reinforces my strong belief that individuals are differently blessed.

Dealing with anomiacs can thus be fun and often stimulating if you know they are so. But otherwise, it may be confusing, embarrassing and even dangerous, like when some anomiac, while introducing you to others, chooses to change your name or your father’s or worst of all your husband’s (or wife’s).

But these are all lesser tortures compared to what our anomiac friends often have to suffer. The line most dreaded by anomiacs? That would be:  “Do you remember me? Ok..then tell me…. What’s my name?” This is one situation where even I would love to be anomiac and shatter the horrible ego of the person in question and supply all sorts of weird names.

Ha!! I will soon do so at the next available opportunity.

My Idle(Ideal) Moments in My Friend’s Office

At this moment, seated next to my friend in her office as she, attending duty’s call, reads a very interesting ( she may translate that to 'boring' but I am in a positive mood today) article, I thought I should spend these idle moments in an ideal manner. So, here I am jotting down on a paper (borrowed from her), the thoughts that cross my mind each moment. But alas,…. that may not be possible because neither the pen (borrowed, again) nor my hand (not borrowed) is as fast as my (or anyone else’s) supersonic mind.

Now that I think of it, had I sat down to do some creative writing every idle moment of my life, I would certainly be holding the Guinness record for writing the most number of articles or stories or whatever. That tells you that I anyway hold the record for being idle. But the imperative word here is, as I have highlighted, ‘sat’. Normally I never sit down during idle moments. I am more horizontally inclined. Now you know why I didn’t ‘sit’ down to write and consequently why the Guinness record is somebody else’s.

Even these petty words would not have found their space on this paper had it not been for the fact that this office is devoid of a recliner (I know there is one in the next room, though). Very rarely do I get such unexpected idle moments. Can’t deny that I have my ample share of the planned and created types and spend them horizontally. These are moments unplanned for and hence really idle idle moments.

Now to face the question of how to spend them…. She asked me if I am bored. Not in the least. At least, as of now. The borrowed stationery, is taking care of that. So, would I be bored, if not for those? Now, wait a moment… let me take a look around before answering that one. Looking around, I can see that her office room is far better-ventilated than mine. One can actually see if it’s raining or snowing sitting in one's room. The wide windows offer you the view of not just drooping Asokas, but human beings too…and that’s what(or should I say ‘ whom’) I like observing, provided they don’t see me- even better if they don’t know that I exist. This can go on for quite some time and soon, unknowingly though, I would get lost in my own world of thoughts where sky is not the limit.

As I sit beside the window in that ‘pensive mood, which is the bliss of solitude’ (must agree with Wordsworth, though I’m not looking at Daffodils), the mind slowly slips, finds peace and I don’t know what I am thinking anymore. Is that meditation?- I wouldn’t know. What I know is that the background is conducive for meditation especially the light buzzing sound emanating from my friend as she reads her article (for her sake, let’s call it humming… remember, I’m in a positive mood today)

In between, she stopped buzzing..er..humming to ask me if my writing is done. Little does she know that this will continue as long as she reads. She is the inspiration for this one. After all, she is the one who asked me to come to her office so that we could go for a walk after she finishes her reading in 5 minutes. And she still has time..it has only been 45 minutes. But I don’t mind, as long as she provides pen and paper, and of course I am in a positive mood today.