Found Guilty..and Sentenced!!

Last Sunday, I woke with a feeling of guilt. This is usually the day, I slumber off to my wish, not having to go to work. So in addition to the usual 8 hours of beauty sleep, an additional 2 hours is due every Sunday to add to my beauty.

But that day, I woke after sleeping only for 7 hours. Oh My God!!! How inefficient and incompetent of me. I tried to assuage my guilt by pulling the blanket over my head to return to slumber land. Just as I was about to land there, came the beep sound of my cell phone alerting me of the arrival of a message.

Normally my hibernation is not affected by anything less than a mini-explosion. I thought: “So, what is happening today?  Is my performance level going low in this one field where I always aced, be it among family or friends?” The guilty feeling gripped me hard. And as long as I am held fast in its claws, I cannot get back to sleep. Ticket to slumber land becomes invalid if you have already embarked on a guilt trip.

The problem was aggravated because I knew that my friend (with whom I share the apartment) was not up yet. Normally she is the boring early bird who wakes me up on Sunday mornings with the clatter of pots and pans when she prepares breakfast (of course, she has to try really hard to accomplish this….but somehow she always manages). Even she was asleep and it was only 8am and I was wide awake with my conscience getting pricked and poked from all sides. Poor me (sigh!!).  

After another 30 minutes’ futile attempts to snooze, I decided to call it a day (pun intended) and got up promising myself that I’d finish some of the morning chores of washing and cleaning and doze off  (with an extension to the usual quota) again after breakfast. I never doubted the practicality of this scheme, relying completely on my experience.

With renewed spirits, I rapidly finished washing the clothes when my friend woke and the first thing she said was “ Hey!! You’re up already!..What are you doing so early in the morning?”

Oh! The pricking was back and I suddenly felt like a deflated balloon. It was as if I had been caught red-handed stealing a sovereign of gold. I got away, mumbling some lousy excuse for my malfunctioning. But the anxiety was getting on.

“What if things don’t go as I planned? What if I am unable to sleep after breakfast?” And if I missed this opportunity, I’d have to wait another 7 days before I could compensate for the lost chances. But, what if the problem persists even then?

“I mustn’t allow that to happen”. I am determined. I finished my breakfast in a hurry, made my routine call to my mom and then cleverly turned off the cell (one learns from one’s mistakes), prayed for unhindered oblivion and closed my eyes. I could hear my heart beating….thump…thump..asking “will I  or will I not?, can I or can I not?”

I could not. This time the reason was…well… no reason at all. I simply could not sleep. I was wide awake which I shouldn’t be at that time on a beautiful Sunday. Sundays are for sleeping.

“What do I do now? Maybe I should finish the rest of the work – cleaning and ironing- have a heavy lunch and try reading a really boring book (one of the text books might help). Yes…That’s what I’ll do and this time I wouldn’t fail”. I got up feeling positive and went about working hard to tire myself out so as to ensure a successful afternoon siesta.

Everything went as planned. The exhaustion after work, the heavy lunch, the boring book-the recipe was perfect for the onset of peaceful slumber. Only… destiny ordained otherwise….

This time it was a nagging thought that kept eating my head. It was keeping me awake as if a little devil pulling my eyes open.

I was trying to recall the name of a former student with whose sister I chatted the previous day. The problem could have been easily solved by calling the sister, but my ego wouldn’t allow it. Having always taken the pride in the fact that I can recall names easily (refer the previous post on this blog), I wanted to figure this one out myself and I did that. But, by then it was tea-time. Suffice to say that sleep was still light years away.

After tea, I had some errands to run and suddenly this was the day my conscience decided to heed my mom’s words to not to sleep during sunset. A couple of phone calls and a neighbour’s visit kept me awake till 10 pm. “Oh ! Now it’s time for tonight’s sleep and no more time to catch up yesterday’s loss. And tomorrow is another Monday when I cannot afford to make up for the lost 40 winks (read that as 4000000)”

My conscience kept glaring at me. Finally the verdict was passed. Found guilty. Sentenced to 10 hours of mandatory sleep every night hereafter. How much I wish I could do that.

So friends, next time you call me, please check the time. I might be serving the sentence of my horrendous crime…poor me!!