Spectrum of Life

Spectroscopy is the study of how matter interacts with radiation. If a particular radiation strikes matter, is it absorbed transmitted, reflected or scattered? If it is absorbed, does it get re-emitted and if so is it fully or partially re-emitted. Is this behavior of matter towards radiation uniform for all radiation irrespective of wavelength or frequency? For the same wavelength, is the same kind of response exhibited by another specimen of matter? These are some of the questions answered by the spectroscopists.

Light-matter interaction is highly subjective to both, the type of radiation and the type of matter. The kind of reaction a radiation invites from different materials differs. So is the case when the material is unchanged, but is acted upon by different types of radiations.

A word to my non-physicist readers: you may be wondering why I have suddenly taken into typing my lecture notes on the blog. I am explaining all this so that all readers have a minimum background knowledge required to understand what is coming next.

Life can be thought of as analogous to spectroscopy. I know any normal person would be baffled by this statement and the most they would agree to would be that ‘spectroscopy may be considered an analog to life and not vice-versa’. Since I rank rather low on the normalcy quotient, and since I am a physicist, I can stick to my original version and hence I repeat that “life is an analog to spectroscopy”. 

Just like different kinds of substances respond differently to the same radiation, different people react differently to the different situations in life. Also, the same individual may respond differently to different situations in life. This, I feel, is analogous to matter responding differently to different radiations-absorbing some, transmitting some and reflecting or scattering some.

I had been thinking about this interesting similarity between life and spectroscopy for quite some time and these not-so-fancy conjectures got reinforced in my mind at a workshop that I attended last week. The workshop on “Living a Powerful and Lovable Life” aimed at making each individual free of the shackles of the past and the emotional burden has been carrying all his life, albeit unknowingly. As each person got into a series of introspection leading to retrospection it was soon revealed to everyone that most often our emotional hassles are the result of our interpretations of the situations and incidents of life and the words and deeds of others. Once we make our minds free of the (mis)interpretations, and let go of these stories (as they are called) that we have been telling ourselves, our lives would become more peaceful, powerful and purposeful. 

The workshop also emphasized on the emptiness and meaninglessness of life. Though, I was initially apprehensive of taking in that fact, what was implied soon became clear. All of us have different views and definition about life which means that the meaning of life is different for each one of us and that is the crux of the idea. If different people nurture different ideas or meanings of life then that would be a truly subjective or relative matter, wouldn’t it? This implies that life as itself is “meaningless” or “empty”. It is we who are attributing some meaning to “life” and this, we are doing based on our past experiences. This was what the workshop was trying to highlight-that by making our own interpretations to life and adding our own meaning to it, we are a mighty lot. Each of us has the power to define our lives and since we anyway have that power, why not make our life a powerful, lovely and lovable one !

We should realize that life has been given to us as a clean slate-meaningless and empty. It is in your hands to decide what to write on it – how to define your life giving it the meaning you desire. So it is you who decide if your life is a blessing, a mystery, a gift, a journey, a lesson, a hell or roller-coaster ride (these were some of the ‘meanings’ of life that came up from the participants at the beginning of the session before we realized its emptiness). 

Well, the workshop definitely made me realize the power of our interpretations (usually wrong ones) which gives an element of inauthenticity to our lives. We are so much trained and tuned to live amidst a host of prejudices and misinterpretations. It is the perspectives that are always decisive of how happily you live your lives. Given the same situation 2 individuals may not respond in the same manner as their perspectives are different. That’s why one gets to hear mixed opinions on everything under the sky. It is alright to have your perspectives and interpretations, but it becomes perilous to your emotional health if you go about thinking that all your interpretations are right and real.

The role of interpretations and individual points of view is rampantly evident in our daily life. You relate the same incident to different people and will be amazed at the varied responses you get. I would like to call that a multitude of spectra of reactions with not just the positions of peaks and dips varying in each, but their intensities and bandwidths as well. Some see any issue professionally, and we get to know their profession from the first comment they make. Some others see the humour in every situation and there is still another group who are hard core cynics, not to speak of the not-so-rare species of philosophers who take it on themselves to spread the light of “their” knowledge whatever be the scenario.

I suddenly recalled the different reactions and responses I got from different friends and relatives when I told them about a particular incident. This happened more than a year ago. While riding pillion on my friend’s two-wheeler on our way back from a French movie screening, both of us fell off the scooter suffering minor injuries.  The potholes on the road were the culprits. Apart from the scrapes and scratches on my face and limbs, I had injured my right foot which left me partially immobile for the next 4 weeks and a part of the foot had got burnt too. Not too minor per se. My friend was far less affected and had only some scrapes on her arms. When this story was narrated to different people, the responses varied widely.

The doctor at the casualty asked me if I am conscious, nauseous, seeing double, feeling giddiness, etc. Of course that his job, can’t call it as a response based on perspective. Or perhaps it is. As a medical professional that is his perspective of looking at things, maybe one can call it a “consciously acquired perspective”. All perspectives are acquired through our past experiences, none of us is born with any inherent viewpoint of looking at life.

An uncle of mine asked me what I was doing on the two-wheeler in the first place. “What are legs for?” was his query.

The aunty next door gets the cake. On hearing the story of my “pitfall” her question was how good the French movie was and if it has English subtitles!!

My boss - a senior Professor- had come down from Mumbai to give a talk the next day, which I missed owing to my injury. On hearing about my accident from someone, he texted me: “Surya, I didn’t know you would go to this extreme to avoid seeing me and attending my session.”

Another interesting response came from a student of mine who has a habit of overdramatizing things (of course that is “my” perspective). She exclaimed: “Oh ! Madam ! What is this? How could you do this?” Did she think was happily performing a “jumping-off-the-scooter” event? If she had been thinking that I was a reincarnation of Houdini, her misconceptions must have got laid to rest on that day seeing my larger-than-life foot.

Yet another student, a naughty chap, was unusually sympathetic. “Ma’am”, he said, “you need to take proper rest, that foot needs that. I don’t think you should bother about that unit test you promised us for next week. We are ready to sacrifice that for your sake.”

 A friend of mine messaged : “Oh!! Poor scratchy-patchy !! Take care. Thankfully your hands and fingers are okay, so you can text me as much as you want”

I was expecting a big uproar from my dad, who normally minced no words in berating me and the rest of the universe (excluding himself, of course) when anything anywhere goes wrong. Surprisingly, this time he was unusually calm and philosophical, saying: “That’s all part of life. One shouldn’t unnecessarily worry about such petty events”!! Was he the same man, who a few years back had created a havoc when I got slightly pushed (can’t even call it a ‘hit’) by an auto-rickshaw when the driver was slowly reversing it from a parked position? 

My mom on the other hand had suffered a change in perspective in the opposite direction. This time she was a bit worried about my injury. That was totally unexpected from her who on hearing about the auto-rickshaw incident had asked me the number of the auto or the driver, so that she could enquire if the vehicle got damaged on hitting me. “If so, we have to compensate for that poor man’s damages”, was her finding !!!

That tells me “Perspectives matter…and Perspectives do change.” And anything that can change, can be changed. Change it …to live a powerful life and a life you love. That’s a plus we can ponder upon. Cheers !

Picture Courtesy:

 

http://weeklysciencequiz.blogspot.in/2011/09/when-light-meets-matter.html

http://iopscience.iop.org/0953-4075/labtalk-article/49790

http://www.findingauthentichappiness.com/what-is-emotion.html

A Cat and Dog Story

Last week I was in Coimbatore for a couple of days visiting my cousins. Since I was anyway there, I decided to pay a visit to a relative, a 71-year old lady who is living alone in Coimbatore.  I set out with my cousin Arun a.k.a  Anu (his pet name as known to the close family). 

Now, this lady is an animal lover. You visit her any time and you’re sure to find a battalion of cats and dogs keeping her company. Not so much of an animal lover myself, I make it a point to notify her in advance of my visits so that she can keep all her canines , felines and bovines (if any ) away. But Anu on the other hand likes animals and had once adopted two kittens of this aunty when he visited her with his wife.  Even this time, his wife asked him to get her a couple of kittens assuming that an endless supply of kittens was sure to be found with aunty.

On reaching there, the two of us were greeted happily by the septuagenarian. “Welcome Surya and  Arun ! So happy to see you after a long time”

After the initial pleasantries were exchanged, Anu’s first question to her was “ Aunty, no cats or dogs now? We would love to see them “ This he said, not just because he was fond of cats and dogs, but because he knew very well that I don’t get along too well with the animate world save with a flimsy few from the human species and with elephants from a distance. I like dogs on pictures and in movies, but that hardly counts to find me a place among animal lovers.

At this not-so-innocent probing from Anu, aunty’s eyes lit up and she said elatedly :    “Yes, yes, Arun. I have 1 dog and 2 cats at the moment. Normally they are here with me, but since  you were coming, I shut the doggie away in the adjacent room. Surya is not so fond of pets…eh?” She asked me with a hopeful smile which I reciprocated with equal warmth of course, but not the hope. 

She, nevertheless continued the stories of her many encounters and episodes with cats and dogs and she told us how she became the guardian of this orphaned dog who soon produced a litter of 8 pups. 

 

As much as she wanted to, she could not keep all the 8+1 dogs herself and hence decided to keep only one of the pups and leave the other 7 and their mom ( I didn’t bother to ask about the dad) at a charity home for dogs run by a lady. Soon she gave us a mini-biography of this benevolent soul and her 500 odd dogs.

 

I gave her a patient hearing all through her narrative. With all my apathy for animals, I do possess a heart sensitive enough to appreciate people who take care of homeless animals. If I was being civil and listening attentively with all the necessary “Oh !"s and “Really ?"s ,Anu was stealing the show with more appropriate questions thus proving to be a more active listener.

Suddenly aunty’s eyes lit up again and she nodded her head enthusiastically and said: “seeking attention…hear that?  They are so intelligent.” Initially, I didn’t understand what she was talking about, but soon realized that she was drawing our attention to the soft thudding sound emanating from the room her dog was locked in. 

My thoughts turned philosophical for a while. : How lucky the dogs are !! They make a thudding sound on the floor and they are certified “Intelligent”. Here I have two post graduate degrees and still battling my way to the first I of INTELLIGENCE. 

She continued her dog stories describing how good-looking her dog is : “fully white save for 2 symmetrical honey-brown stripes on either side. And oh… the eyes..Surya ….you must see...... like lined with Kajal… so pretty”. 

My pasted smile well on place, I kept nodding. Little did she know that I was not one to relent an inch even if she said her dog looks like Katrina Kaif….well, maybe I would if and only if it looked like George Clooney.

She then described one of her late cats who she said was pure white with 2 black coloured  perfect rings of 2.5cm radius on either side. She added philosophically : “nature has it’s own compasses, dividers and set square..am I not right Arun?” she asked to the skilled tool-engineer which my cousin happens to be. Anu was quick to consent . “ Yes..yes…aunty... you’ re absolutely right”, he said while I was raking my brains on where Nature might be using her setsquare.

Now comes the sensational part of the story. This pretty kitty of hers was apparently bitten to death by another dog which belonged to her maid. Aunty hypothesized that this was an act of premeditated, cold blooded felicide which the maid had planned and executed out of revenge on her mistress for not taking her dog to the charity home.  For a moment I was lost for words. Only punctuation marks came up in my mind.

????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????  “ OMG … !!! What Imagination !! Or do such things actually happen?”. I just hope and pray that Ekta Kapoor does not come to hear of this , else we’ll have another soap opera aired for the next 10-15 years with cats and dogs as protagonists.

Caught in the intricate saga, my mind was finding it difficult to match pace when amidst the violently growing thudding sound (super intelligent dog, I must say), Anu came up with a relatively harmless question. “Aunty, how old is your dog?”

To this aunty responded reprimandingly, : “Shut up Anu,…… I am going to kick you.”

Both of us were astounded at this, not knowing what was happening. “Why this sudden change of demeanour?”, I wondered as instant flashes of the “Vidamaattai..??” scene from Manchithrataazhu crossed my mind. (For the non-malayalee readers of mine, Manichitrataazhu is the Malayalam movie, the  original and best version of the psycho-thriller which was later remade into many other languages including Chandramukhi in Tamil and Bhool Bhulaiyaa in Hindi).

In an instant Nagavally turned back to Ganga mode and continued with a smile… “She is very naughty and very impatient at times..” Then turned to the room containing the intelligent dog, and said lovingly “ Anu Darling, behave yourself…don’t be too naughty. You know we have guests.”

So that was what it was. The beautiful, intelligent dog of hers was named Anu. “Ha ! What could be better ..” I thought as I stole a glance at my cousin Anu, who at that instant looked like a cross between Jagathy Sreekumar, Johnny Lever and Jim Carrey   ( I know that is a biological impossibility, but that’s how he looked) and I was failing miserably in my attempts to maintain a Meena Kumari countenance.

Aunty then continued: “ Oh ! You were asking her age Arun, she is 1 year old now. Let Surya be here Arun. Do you want to go and see Anu?”

I saw this as my chance and hastily said with as much a neutral expression as I could manage: “Yes..yes…why not? I think you must go and see Anu.” To which Anu said “Ahem… may be next time aunty, It’s getting late."  "We must be heading back", he added taking a momentary glance at me.

I agreed happily as I was finding it hard to contain my laughter and was dying to pull his leg, once outside the house. As we bade our byes to aunty, she was overjoyed to see the sudden change in my attitude to dogs as I took my time going to Anu’s ( the dog’s I mean) room and cooed and petted her (from outside of course). “ Bbye.. Anu dear…. Chweetie doggy Anu…..” , I said louder than was necessary for the dog to hear   …much to the exasperation of her namesake standing outside. 

Outside the house, I saw that the Jagathy-Johnny-Jim had suddenly turned into Clint Eastwood- a totally expressionless man of few words who refused to even look at me all through the drive home while I kept smiling to myself. But the Clintism he could adorn only until we reached home where I poured out all the events of the visit to eager listeners which included his sister, pregnant wife and mother-in-law. They had a great laugh listening to how intelligent naughty Anu almost got kicked, and he had no choice but join the rest of us.

Picture Courtesy:

1.http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/r/reliance.asp

2.http://trackingteckels.com/2013/04/28/scouts-d-litter-arrives/

3.http://www.aeromental.net/2010/01/12/walking-famous-cartoon-dogs/

The Other 50%

Here comes another March 8th- International Women's Day. Frankly,  I hate the very concept of women's day which I feel is an implicit way of stating that the remaining 364 days are men's days. Though that is true in more than one ways, do you have to state that and remove all doubts? Even during my college days, I despised the women's lib activities and observation/celebration of women’s day. These made no sense to me at all. Not that I am against women’s liberation, only my concept of this liberation is different. How many of us truly realise the meaning of liberation as in women’s liberation? Liberation in what? For what? From what? Where does this liberation originate and most importantly where does it end? I don’t even claim that I know the answers to all this. But, at least these questions have been framed in my mind at some point or the other.

                   

I firmly believe that if the status of the Indian women is to improve, and liberation is to be achieved by women, the change should first happen in the family, at home, in school. What is the point of shouting slogans for women emancipation on the road and come back home to do the dishes while your husband/brother reclines in the living room watching tv and making judgements about the character of women, deciding what she should wear, where and when she can come and go, how she should talk and to whom? The first step is stop allowing yourselves to be subjected to injustice. Fight the discrimination in your family, at work, in the classroom, in your neighbourhood. They say charity begins at home. So does everything good and bad. So curb the bad at home and cultivate the good.

So, you might wonder, why I am saying all this on this day, when I am against observing Women’s Day. The remaining part of this article was written about 2 months back when the nation was fuming in fury over the rape, assault and death of a paramedic student in Delhi. There was a lot of media hype at that time over women’s rights and equality. There was ample discussion on the atrocities on women and the need to preserve women's rights and implement effective laws for the same. New Delhi saw, like never before, the convergence of thousands demanding amendment of laws and penalties. Every journal and channel was discussing women’s rights. So, this article  didn’t see light then  and was saved for the women’s day which was less than 3 months away by which time, I was sure the Nirbhaya wave would have come down. Now, a mere 3 months down, I wonder what is happening in Delhi. The Pak troops in Kashmir was a welcome distraction for the government to conveniently wrap up the issue. Of course, we come to know through the media about the many hearings and adjournments, the revision of laws and later the reversal of revision. Does anyone know what he is doing? What is to be done and how and why and very importantly when?

Many psychologists opined that such acts are done, not out of lust but these are man’s way of demonstrating and proving his power, especially in a world witnessing women empowerment through better education and occupation and self reliance for women. This brings us to the most fundamental question on power. If someone has to state and prove that he is powerful, is he actually powerful? Well, physically maybe yes, but aren’t such acts pointing to the fact that the performers of such acts, even the ones thinking and talking so,  are a bunch of socially insecure and intellectually and emotionally powerless human beings (if they may be called so), not to talk of the absolute moral and spiritual disintegration?

 

The moment some report of harassment of women comes up, unfolds the absolutely meaningless justifications of the act saying that it was the improper attire of the women that provoked the man into behaving so. It is hopelessly audacious and ridiculous to think that a woman should adhere to certain fixed dress codes and conduct codes prescribed by men so that the men 'might' keep their vicious eyes and hands away from the women. Again, no guarantee there too. Even then what about the thoughts and mind-set? Will any dress code ever make a man see a woman as a fellow human being and not as a commodity to utilize for his whims and fancies? What about the 2-year olds getting raped? Are these also due to improper dressing? Even burkha-clad women and nuns fall prey to these beasts.  Can anyone define the so-called ‘proper dressing’? It’s very hard to buy the argument that men are provoked by the ‘indecent’ (definition unknown) attire of women when only the Indian men are provoked into displaying their beastly self by a few inches of fair skin. For all the indulgence in extramarital sex and premarital sex, the westerners - at least the wide majority of them - do not see a woman as a second class human being on whom he can force himself regardless of her consent. On many occasions, I have heard men, educated men, making lewd remarks on a woman's character just because she happens to be wearing a tight jeans or a sleeveless top. I wonder what gives them this right to judge the character of any other person. Even young school-going boys nurture these preposterous notions and this is going to make the situation even more perilous in the future. This situation will go on unless and until everyone, men and women, realizes that though nature has made man and woman differently, they are ultimately equal. Equality, here, doesn't imply similarity. Man and woman have been made different so as to complement each other and make good the  innate shortcomings of each other. By having our thoughts, words, deeds and even laws against half of the population, we are going against nature.

                                  

 I believe the respect for the equality of both genders ( I don't say ‘respect for women’) for what they are and what they are meant to be should be inculcated in early childhood. Unfortunately in most of our families, the children grow up witnessing perennial discrimination against women in one form or the other. Most elders, even mothers (who are women themselves) don't think twice before making a comment on how a daughter is meant to behave and the son...".Oh! He can do anything ...after-all he is a boy." Bad conduct (the definition of which is, unfortunately, different for different people) is repelling in girls, I agree. But it is equally repelling in boys too. Don't let your son grow up as if he is born superior and don't sow the seeds of inferiority in your daughter's mind. 

I can narrate a tiny incident that took place when I was a teenager. One day  I was leisurely watching tv with my legs resting on a teapoy, when my grandmother walked in. Out of respect for her, I removed my legs from the teapoy and sat properly. Very pleased at this gesture, she happily remarked-“very good…that’s the way girls should behave. Girls should not be sitting with their legs on the teapoy.” I got so irritated at that comment of hers and immediately put my legs back on the teapoy and told her. “I object to that gender-biased comment of yours and shall not remove my legs from there until you withdraw your statement.” The poor woman was aghast, but soon I could drive some reason into her, thanks to her common sense. I agree it is not a pretty sight to see a girl in her drawing room with her feet up on a teapoy or a table. But it is equally repelling in a boy as well. If it is relaxing for the boy to sit so, so it is for the girls too. Why should she be deprived of the relaxation? Often, what is judged as misconduct in girls is ranked heroic and macho in boys.  

This is just a petty incident, but numerous such disparities are constantly going around all of us. I know many middle class families where the teenaged daughters are well involved in household chores or at least taking care of their personal duties like washing their own clothes and plates whereas the sons get it done by the mothers. I have seen mothers keep aside fresher, tastier and a greater portion of the food for their sons who are away loitering with friends or playing cricket while the daughter who has been helping her in the kitchen has to make do with the burnt/undercooked/overcooked portions or left-overs of the previous meal or wait till the men have finished and see what remains. This is the scenario in an educated middle class family. And in uneducated, socially and economically backward families, the discrimination against the girl child is much more rampant and severe, yet considered very normal which makes it even scarier. Apart from making the boys horribly dependent on others and hence being a less useful member of the society, all this instils in them the notion of pseudo superiority.  With such unfair practices at home every mother is widening the gender based discrimination and corrupting the minds of her children sowing the seeds of male dominance which when deep-rooted in the young minds drives the youth in later years into thoughts, words and acts against women. It is to be noted that though only a small percentage of the men may be performing acts like rape or molestation, the majority carries in their minds the idea of being superior to women which is bad enough.

The change should happen in the family, in the school. There is very little that the parliament or the Supreme Court or the Police can do here unless men and women, girls and boys realize their strengths and flaws. Don't expect the laws (even if they are amended) to change the picture overnight. Laws and courts can only supplement the existing norms in the society; they can't be in stark contrast with the existing social scenario. In the Indian context even if the laws for preserving women's rights do get implemented (wishful thinking), this contrast between reality and dream is going to be so rampant that ultimately any law is going to be futile. Enough loopholes will be found to ridicule the judiciary and more importantly the public. No law is useful, unless the woman decides to take the first step and be prepared to take the last step as well.  As long we have it deep-rooted in us that man belongs to a privileged class of human beings and females to a second class, any number of laws will just be another adornment in the law books and constitution.

We already have the Fundamental Rights enlisted in the constitution Article 19 of which ensures, to every individual regardless of the gender, the right to freedom of move freely anywhere in the territory. There is also the right to equality provided for in the articles 14 to 18 of the Indian constitution. Article 14 guarantees that all citizens, man or woman, will be equally protected by the laws of the country, while according to Article 15 no person will be discriminated on the basis of language, creed, sex etc.  But how many women today are confident to take a late evening stroll on the streets relying on the constitution. Will quoting these articles save you from the obscene judgements and comments on your character or more importantly protect your spirit, morale, self-respect and life from the heinous hands of the not-so-aam aadmi?

                                  

 We already have laws against rapists. IPC section 375 defines rape and section 376 clearly states rape as a crime and the punishment for the same. It is not the lack of law that is causing this appalling degradation of the Indian society. Agreed that compared to some countries like Saudi Arabia, our laws are far too lenient, but even these accused-favouring laws themselves don’t get implemented. There are hurdles at every point starting from the very definition of rape and violence. The second and most important hurdle is that very few victims muster the courage and willpower to report the issue and seek legal help. The victim cannot be blamed for this as she, at that juncture and maybe forever thereafter is severely traumatised by the violation of her body and soul and the social stigma associated does not help either. In most case, the family and the ‘well-wishers’ coax her to hush up the issue for her own benefit. In the most optimistic case even if the victim decides to file a complaint, there are more stumbling blocks ahead.  As men get meaner, laws need to get more stringent and penalties harsher.

This is only one side of the story. I cannot refrain from pointing out that on many occasions women invite trouble with their lack of common sense. In Nirbhaya’s case the victim cannot be held at fault in any way, as the team of assaulters on that day had predetermined this heinous act. The same cannot be said about the 17-year girl who fell prey to a couple of perverts on New Year’s eve These were guys whom she had come to know (not met) through a social networking site. She wouldn't have been in that situation had she been more prudent. Had she been exploited by a known friend or family member the scales would have turned another way. So would it have been if she had been forcefully abducted and raped. Here, she was inviting danger. It was foolish of her to befriend someone over the social networking site and agree to meet him without the knowledge of her family, and that too with so many evil incidents going on around us these days. What's more, she accepted the drink offered by these fellows. Not just the girl, even the family is also at fault. Girls,should be able to sense it when the intentions of the ones with her are not good. This again depends hugely on lifestyle and past experiences of the girl. Nevertheless, it's basic common sense not to meet and travel with strangers or accept food or beverages from them. 

This does not mean that I am justifying those accused fellows. No matter how careless and foolish the girl might have been, in deciding to meet them, they had no right to do what they did to her. They knew she was not going to be a consenting partner or why would they drug her? Even otherwise, the fact that she is a minor is a very crucial one. Their intention, without doubt, had been evil. For the girl, who must have had some harmless fun in mind, it all turned to be harmful. What circumstances made her choose this dangerous kind of fun is a point worth pondering. One thing that I do find praiseworthy in the girl is that she decided to report the incident immediately so that the wrongdoers could be prosecuted. This 17-year old should be lauded for not keeping the event under the wraps. That, I feel tells us about her sense of freedom and equality. She must have been exercising her rights to freedom and equality, thinking all that is said in our constitution can actually be true. A word to you dear girl (and all other girls), these rights still remain in writing for the women. The present Indian society does not allow women to enjoy these rights. So it would be in your own interest (and mine too) to be more canny and careful before taking our constitution at its face value. There's a lot more way to go before all that comes true. Better be aware of the reality.  But along with her rights to freedom and equality, she at least decided to avail her rights against exploitation and for this I appreciate her.  

So much said about how we must all realise the equality of sexes despite the differences, I must add that the women folk mustn’t get misled by the notion of equality and equate themselves to men. The differences between the two sexes should be accepted and each group should realise and accept their strength and weakness. We are not here to compete or combat but to complement and coexist. Our existence are inter related and interdependent- a perfect Yin-Yang. Nature had beautiful plans for us in making us men and women differently blessed. So why not fit into the nature’s plan?

                               

This Day ...That Year

Today, February 18^th was the day many many years ago (actually, not so many), that I was introduced into a world, after stepping into which there was no question of stepping out. This was the day in the year I was less than a year old that I was initiated into the realm of gastronomical panoply.

This was the day of my ‘choroonu’, the malayalee equivalent of ‘annaprasana’ wherein a baby is fed the first grain of rice along with tiny morsels of all items in the traditional feast served on a banana leaf. The rather inexperienced taste buds of the baby which was until then granted only milk and equivalents, on that day get to decipher and register for the first time a taste of all flavours from the hands of all the  seniors in the family.

 

This event of choroonu is so significant among most of the communities that it is most often held at some temple seeking the Lord’s blessings for the child’s healthy and everlasting appetite. Moreover, to leave no room for any chance of malnutrition in the child’s life, a most auspicious moment –the muhurtham- is chosen for the ceremony usually consulting some astrologer or a panchaangam (containing the astronomical data in tabulated form with their interpretations) at least. 

It was (is?) apparently believed that a child could be given his first grain of rice without seeking a muhurtham if it happens to be the birthday of someone in the family. It so happened that that year ( I believe you must have guessed by now that I am not going to tell you which year it was) February 18^th was chosen by mom to serve me my first official lunch, as this happened to be the birthday of not just one, but two elders in our family. That day, the birthday of my paternal grandmother by the Gregorian calendar coincided with the birthday of my maternal grandfather according to the Malayalam calendar. So the day was doubly auspicious for me. Now, you can’t blame me for nursing such a ravenous appetite.

My choroonu was special not just due to the date, but for the manner and place as well. My elder sister’s chorronu was held at a famous temple in a grand manner within my parents’ means on a very auspicious day according to the astrologers; but alas….she proved them all wrong. She has been reported to having been an impossible kid when it came to eating. A fuss pot, much to the desperation of my mother, who then decided that her second child’s choroonu will be according her own chosen manner, place and time. Let me, at this juncture, bring into your kind attention that my sister in her later years has successfully made up for all her lost chances reestablishing the credibility of the astrologers. Now she is as much a bottomless pit as I am.

Anyway, suffice to say that 18^th February was chosen for my choroonu without consulting any astrologer or panchaangam and the venue was our residence in the Naval Quarters in Mumbai. The same day was chosen for my naamkaran, i.e., naming ceremony as well. Here again my mom made the decision learning from her experiences in the case of my sister. It had so happened that she had chosen a name for her first born which was (mercifully) vetoed out by her brothers-in-law, our uncles. This hurt her mom-ego so much that she was well-determined to name her second one without consulting or informing anyone – not her in-laws, not her own family, not even her husband!!

Yes, my choroonu and naamkaran was conducted and attended exclusively by my mother without the knowledge of my father who was out at work and my sister who was away in the kindergarten. She happily and proudly informed him of the event when he was back in the evening. In case you are wondering how he reacted, I can only tell you that I am wondering the same, as I never bothered find that out from my mom. I suppose he must have just ignored the whole deal as a big joke, possibly laughing to himself over the fact, without the knowledge of my mom, he had already fed me tiny morsels from his lunch and snacks weeks before this big nautanki- a firm non-conformist that he was. So each of them had happily believed all their lives that he/she was the one who performed my annaprasana though I feel only God would know how long before that I must have grabbed something and had my fill on my own – a precocious eater that I have always been.

So, that is the story of how I was fed my first meal and named Surya…this day…that year.

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3120875&TPN=2

shutterstock.com

www.groupsolus.wordpress.com